Monday, February 2, 2015

The Twins vs. Potty-Training/.

Here are the perpetrators:

Ella Bella--age 2 (almost 3)
Vocal and expressive: you always know what she's thinking, and she's quick to tell you if she needs to pee. Drinks all the time (prefers apple juice), so she has to pee...ALL THE TIME.

Adelyn, aka Addy--age 2 (almost 3)
Quiet yet sneaky: always climbing, dumping whatever she can get her hands on, and yells "no" if you catch her needing to use the potty. Will sit on the potty if you bribe her with candy, but she waits until you turn your back to pee all over the floor.

Here's the situation:
My grandma is awesome. She's that kind of grandma that doesn't just watch your kids while you go to the dentist but has lunch and snacks ready for you when you return. When I was growing up, she smothered me with hugs, and I always knew how much she loved me.

Fast forward to last week. Since we don't see each other much, she tries to help out however she can, whether it be cassette tapes on parenting, plastic covers for potty training, or more recently, newspaper clippings on parenting advice.

So when my mom handed me one such article, I was shocked. Was my grandma rubbing off on my mom? My mom always gives me house clippings, so when she handed me one on potty training, I thought, "This must be really good if my mom is giving it to me." (Yeah, it was from Grandma)

The article was a letter written to a child psychologist, detailing her potty training frustrations. Her 31-month-old (mine are 35 months) refused to go to the potty when she asked her and wet herself before she could get the girl's clothes off. This infuriated said mom.

The psychologist saw three problems. First, the mom was asking her daughter if it was time to use the potty. Asking a question that was clearly obvious is setting her up for a fight. If mom asks, the daughter is ready to fight mom tooth-and-nail over said question. Problem 2, daughter shouldn't be wearing so many items of clothing that she cannot take them off ON HER OWN (WHOA! Mind blown.). Problem 3, mom's anger is fueling daughter's rebellion.

I was stunned. I was guilty of all 3 of these things (though, I should state my daughter is not ill-dressed, but I've never had her take off her own pants to use the bathroom). So I made a decision then and there to fix these problems. I started right away.

I "told" Addy it was time to use the restroom. She balked, throwing herself on the floor and crying. I knelt down next to her and said, "It's time to go potty. If you don't come with Mommy, you will get timeout." When she saw I was serious, she stood up and went to the bathroom. She took off her pants and climbed up on the toilet. To my complete shock, she started going pee. I started to cheer, but she said, "No," so I waited until she was done before praising her. Amazing!

That day she was 5/5. No accidents. The next day, I put underwear on her, and she kept them dry all day. This child is doing awesome...considering she'd go on the potty maybe once a day.

Now, I'm not perfect, and neither is Addy. We've had accidents and anger and rushing, but she's doing so well. I never thought changing these three things could make such a big difference. Makes me wonder what else I need to change. But that's a whole other post. ;)

What a crazy Mommy Writing World!

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